To Eat or Not To Eat....

When I was reading through my pregnancy books I came across the deadly foods I should avoid chapter. It was chalk full of stuff that I can not eat anymore! I also thought it was a bunch of bullocks and I have realized that these pregnancy books are really for worry warts. I mean what do these women do who take it so seriously? Do they just sit around and constantly worry they are going to catch a food born illness while pregnant? I'm not going to say push the limits and consume gross amounts of duck pate every night for dinner, but damn let's get some perspective!

The first thing I read was caffeine should be avoided. This was a definite 'oh fuck' moment. I drink coffee everyday! I love iced tea and its my drink of choice! What am I going to do? I then did some research. As long as I consume about 200-300 milligrams of caffeine or less a day its actually been shown in some studies to help the baby. Hallelujah!

I did however get the judgmental look/talk at a Starbucks the other morning, when I did order a caffe latte. A mom came up to me and said, "You look soooo young so I don't know if you know this, but its really bad for the baby if you have caffeine, so you shouldn't be drinking it." Well this busy body didn't know who she was messing with. I then replied, "Well, then I guess my baby will be born with fetal caffeine syndrome and maybe you should drink more coffee because you need to lighten up." I then proceeded to see her about 2-3 year old pulling some Starbucks coffee mugs off a shelf, smiled and said, "Have a nice day."

Now see, if I was a busy body I would of told her to get some manners and maybe she should teach her kid the keep your hands to your self rule, but I was being nice that day so I didn't.

Me enjoying my morning cup of joe. Take that Starbucks bitch!
(Yes I'm also wearing no make up!) I'm brave :)

I also read that I can't eat soft cheeses like feta, blue, and queso blanco. Well, the reasoning for this is that they might be, and I quote directly from my book, 'unpasteurized and full of listeria ridden bacteria.' Sounds scary, but in reality it is illegal to sell unpasteurized cheeses in America. So, unless I'm ordering my cheese from the internet and importing it from foreign countries or buying the local bathtub cheese, I think I'll be ok. Bring on the feta!

Cold cuts and cold processed meats is another one that my book says to directly avoid. I actually have been sticking to this, but not because I might get listeria. Its because of all the nitrates that are in them. I know they are not good for me, so they can't be good for my baby. I still eat pepperoni on pizza though. :) It has been hard to avoid turkey sandwiches but I found nitrate free turkey meat, so bring on the turkey too!

Fish is another thing to avoid according to my book. I have been avoiding high mercury level fish like tuna. I hate fish anyways, so this one has not been hard. I still have been ordering sushi and I stick to the chicken, imitation crab, and salmon filled ones. I know they say pregnant women shouldn't eat raw fish, but honestly pregnant women in Japan eat sushi everyday and they are not having babies with high birth defects. I think I'm good on this one.

The biggest one of all... Alcohol. I have really stuck to this, and I only have a sip of Nate's wine at dinners where we are eating out, just so I can taste the new wine he is trying. I don't see the point of it and why take the risk with it? I mean if I drink too much it effects me, which means it has to be hurting my baby.

Overall, I think its a huge exaggeration of things that pregnant women should be allowed to eat and not to eat. I think Cheetos should be outlawed for pregnant women with all the crap they put in them! Wonderful natural real food like soft cheeses, low mercury content fish, coffee, and no nitrate turkey should be allowed. I have a higher chance of getting food poisoning from the taco truck that Nate and I frequent, then the packaged pasteurized cheese that they sell at the grocery store.

Snoogleness!

One of the things that pregnancy books don't make exactly clear to you is that once your belly grows even the most minuscule amount, sleeping becomes a more difficult task. It really gets complicated when you have been accustomed to either sleeping on your belly or your back, like my self. I have never, ever been a side sleeper and ever since sleeping on my belly has not become a possibility I found myself waking up and not feeling like I have slept at all. Like I told Nate the other day, "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired."

At first I adapted and began sleeping on my back. That worked up until about month three. I did read that sleeping on your back can be troublesome because the weight from the uterus then becomes too heavy and it pinches a blood vessel which causes your legs and arms to fall asleep. I did not take this warning seriously and at about week 12 it happened to me. It was about 2:30 am and I woke up immediately out of my sleep and could not feel my arms or legs. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that it was because I was sleeping on my back. It reminded me of one of those mystery diagnosis stories on TLC that I have recently began taking more interest in on television.

This is when sleeping on belly and stomach became a no go. My mom had been telling me to go out and get a pregnancy pillow but I didn't want to fork out 65.00 for a decent one. So, for about a week after I just slept with a pillow between my legs and suffered with that. I then was watching TV and an ad came up for the snoogle. Now, I know TV ads try to sell you things that you don't need all the time, but damn I was in need of a pregnancy pillow and this thing looked so legit! I then decided right then and there I need a snoogle.

I went to my local Babies R' Us and picked up the angelic snoogle. I inspected the package and thought this is the cure to all my bad sleeping! I mean heck even the lady on the pillow looked like she was slumbering for about 12 hours no problem.

I mean what pregnant lady who can't sleep wouldn't buy it after seeing this beauty on the box.

Thank goodness I had a 25 dollar gift card, so I picked this bad boy up for the bargain price of 45 dollars.

The realities of the snoogle is that it is truly amazing for me. I now sleep through the night and even have dreams that I can remember again.

This alone makes up for the two downsides to the snoogle:
1. Its a total romance killer. No way anything frisky is going to happen when this bad boy is being used. It's like the Berlin Wall, where I'm East Germany and Nate's side is West Germany.
2. You don't look anything like the lady on the package when using it.

Nate snapped this wonderful pic of me sleeping.... thanks honey

Julia

Emotions of Pregnancy

I'm feeling emotional/hormonal today so I figure today's blog is fitting to talk about what emotions and pregnancy hormones can do to one's mind and thought processes.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I immediately bought two pregnancy books, and by immediately I mean downloaded them onto my kindle the second that pee stick had two pink lines. These books were helpful, especially the sections about labor and what to expect. What was not helpful, was the tiny chapters on pregnancy hormones and things you will experience emotionally. They basically give you a scientific view on what your body is doing to produce the hormones (like I give a shit) and then basically wrap it all up in a package that says you will feel a lot of different emotions. Well thanks pregnancy book that I just spent 20.99 on...

What the books don't tell you is that you will feel insane, happy, sad, stressed, depressed, joyful, all at the same time. Now you ask, how is that possible? My friends it totally is. Now, I have not yet experienced the craving for food need that a lot of other women have expressed to me that they did while they were pregnant.

Wait, I lied. I did experience it once and it's embarrassing, but this is what this blog is about! It's about showing the ugly truth. 

It was about a month ago and I was having a wonderful, fantastic dream about eating a big, delicious, juicy cheeseburger from IN-N-OUT and an animal fry. Now, I would not order these two together normally but hell, it was my awesome pregnancy dream and I was going balls out at IN-N-OUT. I then woke up suddenly at 11:00 pm and realized that IN-N-OUT is still open!! Hallelujah!

Doesn't it look glorious?

I then, with out thinking that my husband has to get up at 5am for work, turned over and said, "We need to go to IN-N-OUT." He of course is a heavy sleeper and doesn't get up for anything! I then pounded my fist on his chest and he was all, "WHAT!" I then began to second guess my actions, and said, "umm...we need to go to IN-N-OUT now."  He was all, "uhhh...seriously?" I was like "yes, seriously." He then said, "What possessed you to wake me up and want to go get a cheeseburger?" I then told him about my dream and how I was just going to town on a cheeseburger and some animal fries. He then responded, "If you really want to we will." I then snapped out of pregnancy hormone craziness and said, "OMG, what the fuck is wrong with me! I'm sorry honey, go back to bed." I then sat there and couldn't believe I woke up my husband for a cheeseburger and animal fry.

This singular event has not happened again, but I also have to make it to February. 

The other thing you will feel is a bit overwhelmed. No, wait a lot overwhelmed. Which will make you think way ahead in the future, and think of every possible bad scenario that could happen. This one ladies, you have to keep in check or else it will consume you. If you feel like this, reach out and talk to somebody because they will assure you that everything will be OK! A perfect example of this would be the text conversation I had this morning with Nate:

Nate: What r u overwhelmed with? 

Me: Just like all this stuff we have to get done. Baby room and what not. I just keep thinking what if it's not enough?

Nate: We will get it done in time. We should lay out a plan tonight so this is not just looming over your head.

Now, this is where I go into that crazy, bad scenario place. Pregnant women, stay away from this area.

Me: I guess but kinda hard to lay out a plan when we don't know what it is! What if the baby doesn't show it's privates at the sonogram? And then we don't find out what it is? Then what!!? And we gotta keep all the receipts for things that are gender specific, just in case the sonogram is wrong and it comes out the opposite sex, which can totally happen!!

I then sent this text about 45 seconds later...

Me: I'm fucking crazy.

Nate: You are not crazy, you are pregnant and no need to worry about that. We will take it one step at a time. I am excited to learn the sex and watch the little one grow. I love you.

Me: Love you too, have a great day!

I seriously have the best husband ever!

Here is a cute picture of the cats that I took this morning, just for the hell of it:

Julia

Where the F**K is the Maternity Section

One of the joys of pregnancy is that you get to buy all new clothes! Honestly, who doesn't love a free pass at new clothes? Also, Nathan can't say, did you really need another pair of shoes? Wait, he can still say that because my feet are still the same size, and that's why that new shoe purchase was hard to justify...

Let's try this again: Also, Nathan can't say, did you really need any more tank tops because if he did one I would I give him the death stare and two I would respond, "Yes because I'm getting fat." END OF DISCUSSION.
Nathan is smart enough to not say anything about my recent clothing purchases, since he knows they are all baby related....well, with the exception of new shoes.

The thing that pregnancy books don't tell you about clothes shopping while you are pregnant is that, it is probably the most frustrating thing out there. It is frustrating for a plethora of reasons but let's just focus on the major few.
(Now, if you are one of those pregnant women who got to keep wearing your same clothes throughout your whole pregnancy well congratulations! Congratulations, because most pregnant women don't like you, and nor do they want to hear about how you 'never grew bigger than a size 6.' Also, this blog entry will not apply to you and if you don't like then write your own damn blog.)

Getting off my soapbox, pregnancy clothes shopping sounds like fun until you actually get around to it. Another suggestion, don't go alone like I did. You will even get more depressed, and feel like the marshmallow man from ghost busters.

What I thought I looked like in the mirror of the Kohl's  dressing room at the time.

When I walked into Kohl's I was absolutely determined not to shop in the 'dreaded' maternity section. I was not even going to go there, no way, no freaking how. I then began picking stuff off the racks that were about two sizes bigger than my normal size 6. I picked up some 8's and 10's and walked off to the dressing room to try them all on. Well guess what my friends, the size 8's would not even zip and the 10's fit but they were way, way, way too big in the butt and legs. I then began my internal dialogue that normally occurs when I'm hit with crises.  "Ok Julia, no big you will just have to find dresses!"

I then left the dressing room and began the hunt for dresses. I did the same thing, picked up some 8's and 10's tried them on and realized that they fit!! At this same moment I think that Jesus himself sent down a chorus of angels, but it was cut short by the realization that my belly caused the dresses to rise up in the front, so the hem line is not even all the way around them. Then I went to the 'oh crap' place in my internal dialogue: Crap, I need to go to the maternity section and buy those stupid shorts, that have that stupid nylon thing, that goes over my belly. DANG IT!!

One of the cute outfits I got.
Note: I realize that I have a sunglasses tan, its from all the coaching I do.

I then began to realize that I would have to buy elastic waist band shorts.....and yes I did buy two pairs of elastic shorts because when I put them on they fit like a glove!! These things were made for women who just carry weight in their stomachs and they are completely awesome! Now, don't get me wrong if I could be pregnant and maintain my size 6 figure that I had before, I would give up my own blood and possibly give away my soul, but alas I can't. So, I bucked up and bought elastic waist band shorts.

Yes folks, the navy blue you see is the whole elastic shorts.
It's like a mullet, business in the front and party in the back but instead its:
jeans on the bottom, elastic on the top.

Shopping for maternity clothes can be fun but please don't go by yourself. Being in denial like I was will not only waste an hour of your life, but you will avoid feeling like you are about to be sucked into a proton pack by Bill Murray too.

What 105 Degrees Does to a Preggo

As some of you already know, I am blessed with a job that gets to gloriously coach children in the sports of swimming and water polo.  Now recently here in Central California, it has been a raging 107-102 degrees everyday for the past seven days. Some of you might be thinking, "Well heck Julia you get to coach a sport that has a pool for crying out loud, you get to stay cool!" I wish that sentiment were true but alas, it's not.

Instead I get to sit and sweat, sweat, sweat and did I mention, sweat? Just for the sake of this blog, pregnancy sweat is just not any sweat. It's a sweat that never stops even when you manage to cool your self down it happens again.  I have gotten so used to sweating at all hours during the day that I don't even realize I'm sweating anymore. In fact, as I type this my keyboard is probably going to have an electrical surge because of the sweat that is falling off my fingers into the cracks of the keyboard. (Sorry Nate if I break your 1,200 dollar computer.) It has even gotten to the point where I don't even wear deodorant to practice because I just sweat it off in about twenty minutes. So, not only am I wet from perspiration, I smell like a hippy as well.

I did read when I first found out I was pregnant that your body temperature naturally raises to compensate for the baby, but I didn't think about the consequences of this statement. What this really means, and of course the books don't tell you, is that you will be a sweaty hot mess, you will smell, and you will sweat in places you didn't even know you could sweat. (Yes pregnant mommies that means your crotch.)

Sweating profusely is something that comes with pregnancy and you will learn to adapt. You might even have an episode at Starbucks like I did yesterday with a man that was probably my parents age and I questioned his sexuality because what straight man says 'glowing.' Now that I really think about it, he might of had a pregnancy fetish too.

Man at counter: Hello what can I get you?
Me: A venti passion tea, no sweetener.
Man at counter: It's sure a hot one today, that will be 2.95.
Me: Yes, and unfortunately I'm on my way to sit in it for two and a half hours for work.
Man at counter: Oh well where do you work?
Me: I coach water polo for the high school
Man at counter: That sounds like no fun in this heat.
Me: Yes and I'm pregnant on top of it!
Man at counter: Well congratulations, you are just glowing!
Me: No, its just sweat. Thanks.

Sorry for no pictures, I'm sure no body wants to see my sweaty/'glowing' face or my sweaty stinky arm pits.


Julia

How My Baby Became A Baby Seahorse

On August 6th  I went in for my second ultrasound. My mother-in-law Kim came with me and it was seriously the best ultrasound I have ever been too. Well...actually it's only the second ultrasound I went to in my whole life, so I don't have a lot to compare it to, but it was way better than the first one!
My reasons for this are:
1. At the first ultrasound, the baby looked like a blob with nubs for hands hence the early nick name stubs.
2. I was freaking out the whole time and all I could say was this is 'wicked' and think holy crap that thing is inside me and it has to come out eventually and we all know how that happens....
3. I sounded stupid for saying 'wicked.' Who the hell says that expression anymore? I am not from Britain and I was born in 1988 way after rock bands stopped using the expression, so there would be no need for it to come across my lips in this moment. All I know is I sounded like a dang fool. A happy fool, but a fool none-the-less.
4. This second sonogram went on for about 20 minutes and we got to see it move a few times, which was amazing.

After the sonogram I sent a mass text with this picture of the sonogram.

Baby seahorse/baby hans/baby rice/baby carrot baby/stubs
We have way too many nicknames

The text went out to 8 individuals: All of my siblings: Nicole, Erica, Eric and Zach, my mom, my dad, my sister-in-law Kaity, my brother-in-law Ian, and Nate's Aunt Heidi. The mass texts back were great with the exception of a few hilarious ones.

Responses:
Erica:  Aww...Do you know what it is yet
Eric: Aww.. yay!!
Heidi: Awesome I love him or her already.
Padre Scudder (my dad): The only thing we know for sure is she/he won't be name Shelia...grats though sister its very exciting!
(Just so you know my dad hates the name we gave our dog and claims that is why she tears up the walls when we leave out of retaliation.)
Nicole: Baby Hans! I'm actually already going to buy a present like later today.
Zach: BABY!
Ian: It is a baby carrot baby!
KT: Sooo sweet.

Finally my mother sends emoticon with happy love eyes.
Then about two minutes later: It looks like a seahorse. Ha!

Hilarious and thanks mom, too bad it won't be the size of a seahorse when I give birth, nor will Nate be able to give birth to it like a real seahorse. How awesome would that be??

Speaking of Seahorses, I have asked Nate if it was possible to take the baby from me just for one night so I don't have to sleep with a pillow under my tummy, and he said " I would if I could." I then proceeded to tell him we could transfer it through our belly buttons, but the thought of that made him sick, so he just laughed and told me to go to sleep. Yea, so much for transferring the baby! "I would if I could," my ass.


Sonograms are seriously the coolest! Every pregnant woman should get the opportunity to experience them because it really hits you in the face that you are having a baby! Hell, you might even get an awesome new nickname for your baby while you are at it too. I just hope 'seahorse' doesn't stick with this kid for life...

Blogging the Honest Truth About Pregnancy

Let me first say welcome to the blog!
This blog is not going to be a source/information page for pregnancy. A few times a week I will amuse you with wonderful stories on the joys, horrors, and musings of pregnancy. It will be completely honest, some times brutal look at what it really takes to have and carry a baby for nine months. It will be funny and sarcastic at the same time, as in sarcasm gushes out of my pores, so expect a lot of it. :)
I am hoping that by the end, this blog will not only serve as a relief from a stressful day but help other future mommies answer the 'is this normal' questions that come along with pregnancy. If you have any comments or any research that you would like me to do and give my usually honest opinion, please let me know and I will do my best to accommodate that.

Thanks and happy blog reading!

Julia