96+ hours later...

Well let's just say my son is a slow mover...rather he moves at the pace of a snail...no rather a sloth.

On Sunday night at 11 pm I began having little tiny contractions. I knew these could not be the real deal because they were uncomfortable but I wasn't breathing heavy or having severe pain. I began timing them and they came every 20 minutes. I thought no big deal just means Lincoln will be here soon. Then I began waking up every hour on the hour, with a decent contraction and I thought, Lincoln will be here soon. 

At 6am Nate's alarm went off for work and we decided that it would be a good idea to call my mom to come stay with me 'just in case' these bad boys began to pick up. Plus, I really didn't want to be alone. I knew she was off Monday and Tuesday from work so I knew it wouldn't be a problem.

My mom, dad, sister and brother came up and we hung out just waiting and my tiny contractions began to be a consistent 10 minutes apart for a whole DAY. Yes, a whole freaking day. I obviously got zero sleep and when the morning came Nate went to work but by 10 am I was mentally exhausted. I had it! I wanted to know what the hell was going on. NOBODY and NOTHING I read told me that this could happen. So, My Mom, Nate and I went to the hospital just for peace of mind to make sure that the baby was ok. 

When we got there they assessed me. I was only 2.5cm dialated, ugh! Since I was so borderline to being admitted they told me to walk for two hours and we would then check to see if I had progressed anymore. We then spent the next two hours walking around the hospital. We went to the cafeteria, the gift shop, the outside patio, the parking lot, and all over the hospital. We walked and walked and walked and did I not say walked? I got checked again and of course no progression with my cervix. The nurse was so nice and she reassured me that Lincoln would be coming at ANY TIME all I need are a lot stronger contractions! I was happy we went because I knew what was going on and it made me feel that I was not crazy. I am in fact having contractions, they just are not strong enough to make Lincoln come out anymore than he already is.

Tuesday night my folks went home around 9 pm and that next morning, Nate's parents came up and took what I am now calling the 'parent shifts.' When they arrived that Wednesday morning, nothing had been progressing any quicker than 10 minutes still, so we went to lunch with Nate. Kim and I then went to Babies R' Us and walked the whole dang store. We then walked to Old Navy and decided to head on back to the house. During the shopping/walking excursion my contractions began to change. They went from uncomfortable zone to the "oh okay this hurts a bit" zone. Then that night things started picking up. Every contraction hurt, they had all reached the "oh okay this hurts a bit" zone. We then decided to start timing them. I was at a 7 minute holding pattern from about 3 pm to 10 pm that night. So yes, about every 7 minutes I was having a contraction. We all decided to go to bed and then at 11:30 pm I woke up and entered what I would call the "ok I'm pretty sure this is it" zone. I then timed my contractions with the handy contraction timer app and by 12:30 am I hit every five minutes. I decided then to let them go a bit more and reach the 4 minute time interval because I was not going to get sent home AGAIN! Then by 1:30 am the contraction timer showed 4 minutes intervals for each contraction and I was averaging 1 minute 3 seconds per contraction. I woke up Nate and said 'ok its time.' We took our time because for what ever reason I was under the delusion that I would not be sent back home at any costs. We were actually out the door by 1:50 and on our way.

I got assessed again and I was exactly where I was earlier Tuesday morning. DANG IT! They told me the exact same thing I got told earlier the previous day. They did give me some sweet sleeping pills and I slept for 6 hours, and that was worth the second hospital trip in my mind. 

This morning, Nate and I decided to take a walk and my neighbor, Falou, was out. She did a very calming relaxation technique that they do in her native country India, to help the baby along. It was so sweet and endearing of her, and at this point I will do anything to get this baby out. I might even ask her to do it again tomorrow, if he is not here.

Today at 3 pm I had my doctors appointment and he told me the same shit I have been hearing for almost 5 days now. It will be any day now, all you need are stronger contractions. He also made the joke that, "Oh we might have a Superbowl baby here." He then said, "Well I am kidding, but honestly I'm really not." Thanks... He also tried to be funny and say "Oh go Ravens" because Nate was wearing his 49ers hat. Nate then said, "Oh well she is a Ravens fan so I'm sure she appreciates it!" He then asked how I became a Ravens fan and I replied not so nicely, "I don't want to talk about it." Oops....probably should of been nicer, but I'm at my wits end. He then gave me permission to drug up on Benadryl until my labor gets kicked into the active category. HELL YES!

I did learn that Lincoln is down low and his head is sitting on my cervix exactly where it should be. He is in complete position to be born. I am having contractions but they are just not strong enough to do anything. I am not in false labor. My body is just not ready to push a child out yet. I need to relax, sleep and just hope my water breaks or these bad boy contractions start getting much stronger. All that's happening is my contractions are not strong enough to get out of the early labor phase and into active labor, in other words I'm basically stuck and in limbo. They don't want to induce me because he is at a nice 8-8.5 lbs and there is no actual medical reason to do it since Lincoln is just chugging along very happily. Plus, the new thing is that if there is no reason the induce they won't do it because it has been shown to make labors more complicated and is directly related to an increase in C-section rates. I think if this is the best thing for my baby and I then this is what I will do.

So this is what I have learned so far from this experience:

1. Don't read anything on the internet or in books about labor. Everybody's labor is so different and the ones they tell you about are about as average as it gets. It creates this idea of what labor is in your mind and it will drive you insane if you try to stick to it. I just got to let my body do what it does naturally and not try to force it. 

2. Parents are seriously saviors when their children need anything! I was sooooo thankful my mom and family came up and just hung out with me for two days, and that my in-laws did the same for me afterwards. I would seriously go insane if I didn't have that support and I was just hanging out by myself like this. Also, let them do stuff for you because they want to! This is not a time to be all prideful and do it by yourself. So, thank you to my parents for buying Nate and I some groceries, and to Nate's mom and Dad for the lunches/dinners and laundry that got done :) Thanks for all the emotional support as well.

3. Don't beat yourself up. I began to feel guilty about the fact that Lincoln is just so happy inside of me that he doesn't want to come out. I thought "Oh I must be a bad mom because my baby doesn't want to meet me." This is a dangerous path to take mentally and is not healthy for you or baby. It will also not lead to a nice birth experience and needs to be avoided at all costs because it truly does nothing for anybody or anything. All it does is send bad mojo out there.

4. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! When I made the prediction of there being a 49ers/Ravens Super Bowl and that Lincoln would be born on that day, I did not seriously think it was possible...well I learned my lesson. 

5. Take things day by day. This is something I have struggled with my whole life and right now it couldn't be any more true! I really believe that this is God's way of teaching me to relax and learn to live in the moment. This experience is teaching me that, and what a better way to teach me than by the birth experience of our son!

6. Just let my body do what it knows and trust it completely! As soon as I do that I know this little, precious baby will come out of me!

Here I am in all my glory. No its not pretty, but what is going on is not pretty and this blog is all about honesty.

Julia